It is quite difficult to be a 300+ lb. guy and go the box day in and day out and suck at everything, be last in every WOD, break the top of a box on a box jump, having to walk for 400 meter sprints, can't bring your leg down on walking lunges. get terrible stomach cramps while doing tabata sit ups and other core exercises, get totally gassed and having to split up your 10 burpees into 3-4 groups for warm-up...I can go on, believe me I can, but I think you may now have a slight understanding on how it feels to be an old fat fuck in a crossfit class. Oh yeah--I have to take off my glasses because they fog up and I can't see shit or remember what is on the board to do, so I have to keep walking up to the board to find out what I need to do next.
I wish other old fat people would come to Crossfit too, that way I could at least stand a chance. I want to work out and do the WODs because they are so exhausting and I know I am accomplishing tough workouts. But when you come in last, maybe not even finishing all the "rounds" and then being told by others what a great job I did, really cheeses me off. I know I sucked--you know I sucked--let's call it what it is...hey, at least you came in and did something even though you really sucked and your form was horrendous. I am surprised you didn't quit sooner. At least then they are being honest. I would rather have honesty than nice lies to spare my feelings.
And I think I have heard it all. At least you showed up...you are doing better than those still on the couch...you are really only competing against yourself. Yada yada yada. Yup, I am competing against myself and lost.
So am I saying I will never go to Crossfit again...No I am not. But I do feel it might be a while before I do. I seriously think I am too fat to Crossfit right now where I am at. The WODs have gotten ridiculously tough since when I first began which makes me feel that much worse about not getting this shit done or done properly.
I feel there needs to be another division of CrossFit called CrossFAT (or even something nicer). One where the older, out of shape, those rehabbing injuries, and really struggling people can go to get a tough WOD done and not feel so inadequate that they cannot walk in the door. One where the warm-ups are about 10-15 minutes, but short enough that we haven't "shot our WOD" (by being so tired) before our WOD even starts. Then maybe another 10-15 minutes to do some weight lifting and then a full 20-25 minute WOD, have a normal WOD and we would scale it down as needed, but also have the time to finish it up without drawing a crowd. I know everyone rooting on the slow fat guy who is trying their best to finish is the proper etiquette, but it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I don't like being at the center of attention. I know everyone means well while doing it, but when it's every WOD you do, it's embarrassing to be that last guy to finish. I think that maybe it might be more of the congratulations afterwords and being told I did a great job when I know that I sucked and did horrible with bad form while being extra slow.
I hope I don't sound like I am bashing CrossFit or my Clan, because I don't feel I am or even mean to. I am just pointing out how I feel when I am there. Everyone is SUPER nice and very enthusiastic as well as helpful. Everyone genuinely seems to care about everyone else. That is a great feeling to have and to see the camaraderie that is in the box and between fellow members. I just think am part of the 1% who fall into the cracks. I know I am not the majority, so I know CrossFat would not happen and even if it did, my fellow fatties and understrong people won't even go to that. So with that I know I am left out in the dust to forge my own way until the time comes that I feel strong and/or fast enough to participate in this great sport called CrossFit. I want to do all this cool stuff-I really do, but I just don't feel comfortable enough to show up right now.
-sad & defeated duke-
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| Time is ticking away. My time may soon be up. I need to do something NOW! |
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